We all have them… those embarrassing moments that make you (and everyone around) “Face Palm”. But you have to admit these moments are funny and good for a laugh…after the fact. Here on Howard House we have a segment called Face Palm Friday where we dish on these moments. We want to get you, the reader, involved, too! You can submit your stories (anonymously, of course) to be feature on Face Palm Friday! You can submit your story by using the form below (or click here if you can’t see the form).
So… it’s been awhile since I’ve done a Face Palm post, but I had to share this with you. I still feel like an idiot, three weeks later, lol.
Recently I had to run into town to do a few errands. I wasn’t in a hurry so I was side tracked by all the Yard Sale signs. At one intersection there were several different signs all pointing in the same direction, so I turned into the neighborhood and started looking for them. I saw a huge one, stopped and started to browse. Goldmine! I love stumbling on those really good ones where the people have quality junk! There was a lot of furniture, and tub after tub of really nice clothes and knick- knacks. Most of the stuff was arranged on the driveway, and a little on the grass, along with a lawn chair by a box – their pay table I guessed. No one was there for the moment. So I started a little pile of treasures, including a fantastic jewelry box and some other odds and ends. So that’s your mental picture, me with my head down, taking stuff out of tubs and boxes, and often, putting something in my ” to buy” pile off to the side in the yard area.
Suddenly, this woman comes rushing out the front door, the air turning blue as she is yelling at me- “What the %^#@ are you doing?” and about 10 variations of the same thing. I’m standing there, mouth agape, my arms full of jackets, and a quilt, and this women is just going off!
Soooooo….it turns out that these people were NOT having a yard sale. Her hub and son were cleaning out their garage, and had gone for lunch, when this woman looks out her window and sees yours truly going through all their stuff! It took a little while for her to calm down, as I explained ” I thought I was shopping!” all the while I am putting my “finds” back in tubs, re-folding the clothing…she just watched… and I was 50 shades of red!
I found the nerve to ask ” Do you want to sell the jewelry box?” “NO!!!!!”
I walked back to my car, face-palming the whole way!
These were emailed to me- if you know who to credit, let me know. Priceless Face Palms from DUMB folks!!
***A criminal who broke into a couple’s house started to take the TV, but instead he turned it on and began to watch. He supposedly liked the program that was on and laid down on the bed. Since it was at night he was tired and fell asleep. So when the couple came home the next day they found him and called the police.
*** A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
***Athens, Georgia: Demetrius Robinson, 28, wanted to rob a Golden Pantry store late one night, but he needed to pass the time as naturally as possible until he and the clerk were alone, so he decided to fill out a job application. Not a bad idea, except he left his real name on the application, along with his uncle’s phone number. After he robbed the store, it didn’t take long for police to track him down. He didn’t get the job.
***Marysville, California: Arthur Cheney, 64, was arrested after police spotted him driving a car that resembled one used in a local bank robbery. Something told them that they had their man when they noticed a yellow Post-It note on the car’s center console with a handwritten message reading, “Robbery – 100s and 50s only.”
***Boyds, Maryland: While awaiting trial for murder and armed robbery, inmate Quinton Thomas sent a friendly letter to a chum suggesting that he kill any witnesses who were planning to testify against him. He figured he could be so bold because he knew that the prison staff didn’t screen outgoing mail. However, he must’ve sent the letter to the wrong address or affixed the wrong postage, because it was sent back “Return to Sender,” making it INCOMING mail, which IS screened by the staff. He was convicted on three new counts — one of solicitation to commit murder and two of witness intimidation — in addition to the original charges.
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One of the biggest face palm moments I’ve had happened almost 11 years ago. I was sitting in my friends room, watching a movie with him and one of his friends. It was a small room that he rented from the family who lived in the house at the time, so there wasn’t an abundance of room to sit down and get comfy, so the three of us were on the bed. For some reason, my friend decided it would be funny to start shoving office supplies up the leg of my pants. Minds out of the gutter, he was shoving stuff up through the ankle of my pants!
At first, it was annoying but funny. Eventually, the funny part wore off and it was downright annoying. Even more so when I realized I had so many pens and pencils, a 3-hole punch and other supplies up my pant leg that I couldn’t really move for fear of getting stabbed by something. So, I had no choice but to look at my friend’s friend for help. I looked at the man who up until that point I had only ever said some choice words asking him to stop shouting to and said, “Would you mind going in my pants and getting that ____ out!”
Perhaps that is the greatest come-on line of all time, because 11 years later, we are married with two great kids!
The Tales of Bubba and Mack